Delusional

     Was it delusional of me to feel more then what was being said? Was it delusional to believe in the actions that contradicted the words you said? Was I desperate and so hopeless that I choose to romanticize you? Has the white rabbit finally caught up? why does it still feel... real?

    Probably because I am delusional. I placed you in the world that I created in my mind... Right? I always do that... Right? My imagination is big enough to create poems, songs and books, so I must have dreamt the things I thought about you too... Right?

    I'm looking forward to the future; I am open to the possibilities but what if it's something only in my head. What if I never wake up? What if I always think with my heart first and mind second... Do I shut it off? Go cold and feel nothing?    

    I don't want to go back to surviving I want to live. I want to love and be loved. I deserved to be loved... Right? How can I trust I am right this time when I swore, I figured out this equation a long time ago. But it is my fault for allowing these thoughts to consume my mind and burden my future.

    It is my fault for putting hope in something that was only being held by myself. So, I refuse to do it again. Overextend, Over explain, Beg, I Will no longer be in my walk and it will no longer be my burden to carry.    

    I don't know maybe I am simply delusional. 

    Thank you for Reading... Goodnight. 

    𖤐 ✦ 𖠷 ✦ 𖤐

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